Moving from Can I? to I Can!
Impostor syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be.
I had to really catch myself and interject some positive self talk this morning. I have been home from work for 3 days with a cold/sinus infection. I felt so badly, that I didn’t look at or respond to emails. This is not typical, as I can get up to 2oo messages a day and missing even 1 day really sets me back.
I felt myself questioning my ability to keep working as I get older. I mean, if a cold can take me out- Can I really do this? Can I keep up with the pace of working a fulltime, really demanding job? Can I? Self doubt occasionally tries to take up space in my thoughts and I am regularly working in affirmations and positivity in any way I can.
It is interesting that when you are physically vulnerable, you become emotionally vulnerable. This can make it even harder to battle Imposter Syndrome.
A couple weeks ago, while I was strategizing and mapping out plans for the next couple months, including scheduling and uploading videos and blog entries- creeping doubt and low self worth tried to enter in. I mean what makes me think I can do this? Can I?
It shouldn’t be so challenging to provide a forum to discuss and share issues of aging that myself and so many in my circle are going though. I firmly believe that we are our own best experts about our mental and physical health. These are our experiences to share and to mormalize.
Even something as simple as drinking celery juice every morning for 14 days felt like a covenant commitment.
I struggled on the days I actually needed to “hand prepare” the juice instead of purchasing the freshly prepared. So every now and again, I need to go through the process of building myself back up. Being my own best encourager. I have gotten really good at it, but boy oh boy, negativity is relentless. I realize that most of it comes from me, but there are certainly external forces at work. We have media that presents older women as no longer useful. We are marketed to with the idea that we need to restore our youth, keep our looks, stamina and vigor up to where it was in our younger years.
Even among our associates and colleagues, vague references to the inclusion of younger voices and engaging young people for their technological skill enter into conversations. Are those really exclusive. Can you be older and listen to and intentionally include younger people? I may need my son to open the peanut butter jar, but I’m pretty skilled with my social media sites and apps that I use.
The “when are you going to retire” question gets posed, not as a genuine concern for well being while aging, but usually as a reflection of a value about older women in the workplace. We are often undervalued, unseen and unheard. Invisible.
Yes, I know women always have that issue. Add aging to it and it can be smothering. So with the first iota of negativity, I find myself trying to inject light into my psyche. I immediately change the script to include positive affirmations. Older women have so many positive things going for them. Speak yours.
I am confident.
I am capable.
I am wise.
I am beautiful.
I CAN!
What do you flip the script to when faced with self doubt? Leave me a comment.
Earthen Sojourner 