Resolutions or ….nah

Like the great mask debate- people are split on whether to make New Year’s Resolutions or not. We are almost a month into the New Year- if you made resolutions- are you actively working on them or have you already broken them? Did you mindlessly put sugar in your coffee (#1 Cut out sugar) or have a cocktail because the Covid news was so bad? (#2 Quit drinking)

Alot of folks I heard from just aren’t feeling into resolutions. They are not feeling the resolution vibe.

But New Years Resolutions are just one of the rituals and traditions of the season. My husband believes that you need to have a clean house, including laundry done to start the new year off “fresh”.

I read somewhere that only 29% of people were planning to make resolutions this year down from 43% last year. Every New Year’s Eve, millions of people around the globe celebrate with the hope that next year will be better than the last. Resolutions are nothing more than a pinkie promise to yourself to do something differently or better.

I can certainly understand any hesitation to commit to meaningful change through resolutions. So much uncertainty. All plans have the potential to be tentative plans. There is a collective feeling of futility and loss of control.

But here are a couple of good reasons to make resolutions:

  • Making resolutions sets forth a personal challenge. It is human nature to become contented with our lot in life, and human nature to what to grow and evolve.
  • Making resolutions forces us to reflect on where we are and how or what we can improve in our lives.

A couple good things happen when you make resolutions:

You Become Intentional -You made a resolution in the first place because there was some improvement in that area you wanted to see. Even if you don’t keep your resolution, you have identified an area for growth. Maybe you just need to try a different method to achieve the change/growth.

You Look Foward with hope…obviously you think things can get better if you are taking steps for them to be better. That is a hopeful optimism that is much needed right now.

I have been a lump of coal since about Sept 2020, so anything that provides a bit of inspiration, momentum or motivation could be worthwhile.

Give yourself a nudge, rather than a shove. Make your resolutions about what you will do, instead of what you won’t do. Those positive declarations serve as affirmations.

Instead of, “I won’t drink alcohol for 6 months” …. say, “I will increase my consumption of healthy liquids like water, tea, veggie & fruit smoothies.” Affirmations, in the positive are so much more powerful and will increase that positive vibration.

There is something so invigorating knowing that you can start from scratch. That you can make a pinkie promise to yourself to do better.

Resolve to be better. What is your better?

If the pandemic, has you struggling and feeling resolution reluctant, take to journaling. I have created a journal specific to the pandemic. It includes facts about previous pandemics and lots of space to include your thoughts. It is available on Amazon.

Miracles, Signs & Wonders

Being Mindful and Aware

Are you paying attention?

The other morning on my drive to work, as I crossed the bridge over the Iowa River, a group of sparrows swooped down and then upwards and flew right in front of my car. To my horror, one of them struck and then bounced off the windshield. It was still alive- I think.

This morning prior to writing this, I looked up and there was a bird on the screened porch. I had to call in the reinforcements to guide it back outside.

Less than a week later, I was perusing Facebook and a friend of mine had posted a message asking for advice about how to get a bird out of her house. Now, some of you know that I am not a bird person, but I was put on alert after bird encounter #3.

My 4th encounter- although a couple months later is the turkey vulture in the front yard. This thing was HUGE!

He was clearly there for the squirrel road kill, but was intimidating to look at.

I am a firm believer in miracles, signs and wonders. I think we are so overloaded with all kinds of stimuli and noise in our lives, that we just don’t notice them.

Many people believe that birds can present as an omen, a sign or as symbolism. What they are doing is as important as what type of bird it is when trying to discern the message they are bringing.

So what does it mean, if anything? I don’t have a clue, but for me it is a call to awareness. I see birds all the time, everyday. We are so frequently visited by the cardinal pair in the lilac bushes that my granddaughters call them “Bumpa”. Although they had never met my father, we connect through the cardinals.

I imagine many would say those are all just naturally occurring events. I want to at least consider the possibility that it was a sign rather than a mere coincidence.

Is it a wonder or a sensational phenonomen?

Sometimes we just need to BE STILL and BE PRESENT and BE OPEN to the message.

I am trying to pay attention. I am trying to be mindful and attentive.

Here is a great site with a list of birds and their meanings.

Some links like this one are affiliate links. It allows me to get a small commission for anything that is clicked on or purchased. This enable me to continue to provide free content. This link is for something I use a A LOT in my videos and meme’s. Check it out. Creative Fabrica. Tons of images and interiors for low content books and other creative ventures.

https://www.creativefabrica.com/product/kdp-interior-bucket-list-journal/ref/1791101/

Angel Sightings

Angelology  def – the theological doctrine of angels or its study.

Disclaimer…I am not professing to be an expert. I don’t even study angels. I just have always been interested in and felt close to angels. Most of my impressions of angels have come from the Bible, including descriptions, although a large amount of their physical characteristics have come from images in books, on pictures and TV. We often see them pictured as heavenly creatures surrounded by light and halos. I had always imagined them as kind spirits, who watched over us and sent us messages from the “other side”.

I used to believe that when you died, you became an angel. NOT TRUE.

Now that I am a bit more informed, I know that many of my beliefs about angels, including how they looked were wrong!

Angels are mentioned at least 273 times in the Bible. The Bible only mentions a couple of them by name, but we have certainly acquired main stream knowledge of the existence of other angels. There are many other historical sources of information regarding angels. A primary source is the Book of Enoch. By the 4th century, the Book of Enoch was mostly excluded from Christian biblical canons. Many accept the Book of Enoch not as canon, but as having historical or theological interest and as supplemental reading material – especially regarding angels.

Who or What are Angels? Angels are agents of God. They are often called “the messengers”. Sometimes they are called the “heavenly hosts”, “ministering spirits” or “sons of God”.

Although most Biblical language used to describe and reference Angels is masculine, they are genderless! Think about it- most language used in the Bible to describe most things is masculine!

When angels were actually created is something that the Bible does not specifically mention. But we can be pretty sure that Angelic existence dates back before the creation of humans. Scripture indicates the angels sang and shouted at God’s creation of the earth.

“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding. . . when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?” (Job 38: 4,7).

We do know that Angels are not human, and have distinguishing characteristics that set them apart from humans. Some have wings. Some have 2 faces.

Angels are immortal and they do not marry or procreate.

Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection. Luke 20: 36

For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. Matthew 22:30

How many Angels are there? The Bible suggests that the total number of angels are beyond counting. Myriads is too many to count.

But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to myriads of angels . . . Hebrews 12:22

Do Angels have a heirachy? We know from Jude 9, that there are at least a couple ranks. Archangel, above Angel.

But when the archangel Michael, contending with the devil, was disputing about the body of Moses, he did not presume to pronounce a blasphemous judgment, but said, “The Lord rebuke you.” Jude 9

Some experts identify nine orders of angels, hierarchically arranged: Seraphim (the closest to God), Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangels, and Angels.

Angels are certainly fascinating. Most people believe in the presence of Angels and many have experienced or believe they have had an Angel encounter. Have you?

For some additional reading on Angels.

Click to access BookOfEnoch.pdf

The You Tube video below has a number of Angelic Sightings from scripture.

Affirmations for Black Women

Naming it and Claiming it! Speak it into existence! Manifest! As a (wo)man thinketh! Ask and you shall receive! We are all familiar with those declarations. And what is a declaration but a forceful affirmation?

An affirmation is a short, powerful statement. Affirmations are really simple, short and powerful expressions that motivate, inspire and encourage. When you say, think, even hear them, they become thoughts that can mold and maneuver our reality.

When we practice affirmations routinely, they can shift our energy and mindset to one of positivity and empowerment. I wholeheartedly subscribe to the belief that affirmations work and practice them routinely.

This is my mind on any given day. Full of random thoughts.

We are what we think. Somewhere I read that we can have more than 6000 thoughts each day! Many of them are responsive or reactive- and therefore negative. Like…”why is that a-hole driving that close to me?” or “I told them NO MAYONAISE!”

So much of our external stimuli is negative. The news media, the news from friends and family. I don’t know about you, but I have had to work twice as hard since the onset of COVID to get my glass half full. I hope that you will find these affirmations empowering and inspiring.

Listen to the spoken affirmation and repeat it out loud. Do it everyday for 20 days and watch what happens. Don’t fret if you miss a day. Just jump back on it!

As BIPOC Women, we have some unique challenges and therefore some specialized affirmations are needed. The following You Tube video includes 20 of the Best Affirmations for Black Women.

Here is an incredible site that offers additional and uplifting messages. https://www.dearblackwomenproject.com/120-affirmations

What is your GO TO affirmation for starting your day?

Self Doubt & Imposter Syndrome

Moving from Can I? to I Can!

Impostor syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be.

I had to really catch myself and interject some positive self talk this morning. I have been home from work for 3 days with a cold/sinus infection. I felt so badly, that I didn’t look at or respond to emails. This is not typical, as I can get up to 2oo messages a day and missing even 1 day really sets me back.

I felt myself questioning my ability to keep working as I get older. I mean, if a cold can take me out- Can I really do this? Can I keep up with the pace of working a fulltime, really demanding job? Can I? Self doubt occasionally tries to take up space in my thoughts and I am regularly working in affirmations and positivity in any way I can.

It is interesting that when you are physically vulnerable, you become emotionally vulnerable. This can make it even harder to battle Imposter Syndrome.

A couple weeks ago, while I was strategizing and mapping out plans for the next couple months, including scheduling and uploading videos and blog entries- creeping doubt and low self worth tried to enter in. I mean what makes me think I can do this? Can I?

It shouldn’t be so challenging to provide a forum to discuss and share issues of aging that myself and so many in my circle are going though. I firmly believe that we are our own best experts about our mental and physical health. These are our experiences to share and to mormalize.

Even something as simple as drinking celery juice every morning for 14 days felt like a covenant commitment.

I struggled on the days I actually needed to “hand prepare” the juice instead of purchasing the freshly prepared. So every now and again, I need to go through the process of building myself back up. Being my own best encourager. I have gotten really good at it, but boy oh boy, negativity is relentless. I realize that most of it comes from me, but there are certainly external forces at work. We have media that presents older women as no longer useful. We are marketed to with the idea that we need to restore our youth, keep our looks, stamina and vigor up to where it was in our younger years.

Even among our associates and colleagues, vague references to the inclusion of younger voices and engaging young people for their technological skill enter into conversations. Are those really exclusive. Can you be older and listen to and intentionally include younger people? I may need my son to open the peanut butter jar, but I’m pretty skilled with my social media sites and apps that I use.

The “when are you going to retire” question gets posed, not as a genuine concern for well being while aging, but usually as a reflection of a value about older women in the workplace. We are often undervalued, unseen and unheard. Invisible.

Yes, I know women always have that issue. Add aging to it and it can be smothering. So with the first iota of negativity, I find myself trying to inject light into my psyche. I immediately change the script to include positive affirmations. Older women have so many positive things going for them. Speak yours.

I am confident.

I am capable.

I am wise.

I am beautiful.

I CAN!

What do you flip the script to when faced with self doubt? Leave me a comment.

Do Weighted Blankets Help You Sleep?

Hello! Earthen Sojourner here. Today, I am going to answer the question- do weighted blankets help you sleep better?

My goal is to help folks navigate through the aging journey with humor, joy and wellness. If you are a baby boomer or a gen xer- you know getting old is not for weaklings! You gotta bring your A game- physically, emotionally and spiritually.

As an Earthen Sojurner , I am taking a look at all of the things you can possibly bring to enhance your journey.

Let me know what you bring your A(ging) game by listing it in the comments section below and let’s talk weighted blankets.

I am a 30 plus year insomniac. I don’t have real problems falling asleep, but I wake up frequently throughout the night and struggle to get back to sleep. My son probably thought if weighted blankets work- my mom needs one. SO he bought me a 15lb Pendleton weighted blanket.

This is the blanket I have.

I didn’t really know what to expect. It was heavy. It felt slippery. I needed help getting it out of the box! I didn’t think that boded well for getting on the bed.

I didn’t really know what a good night’s sleep felt like. I have suffered with periods of insomnia and interrupted sleep for as long as I can remember. I am a skeptic, but I also am willing to try anything that might help.

Let’s see…. I’ve tried OTC sleep aids, melatonin. sound machines, magneseum, medidation, deep breathing, and Tylenol PM, is was my go to to correct wakefullness that had persisted for over a week. No warm milk- lactose intolerant. I have tried all of the other recommendations like- don’t eat after 5pm, don’t drink after 5pm, wind down, no computer or tv time right before bed…on and on. Many of those things work, for short periods of time, but who wants to do them every night FOREVER?

And if you follow me- you know I talk about my challenges with STICK -TO- IT- TIVE -NESS.

So do weighted blankets work for insomnia and better quality sleep? I would have to yes. My sleep is of a better quality.

The science behind using a weighted blanket is fairly a well-known and a proven relaxation therapy that is used for people with stress and chronic anxiety. It’s called deep pressure stimulation (DPS). The simplest explanation is that it involves firm pressure applied to the body that calms the nervous system. It is what happens when you swaddle a baby. Cuddles and hugs. For most babies we know that works to calm them down. It makes them feel warm, secure and safe.

Science says that firm gentle pressure (in the form of a weighted blanket) can relieve stress, improve sleep, calm children , and aid in the treatment of anxiety disorders. Here is some science if you need it.

I have a full size blanket because my husband and I have slept with separate blankets for years and he’s a cover hog, when he sleeps with covers. He also doesn’t like the weight.

The first couple nights were interesting. The blanket felt very heavy. I get up to use the bathroom at least one time per night. It was like manual labor to get it situated and back into position. The job at hand would actually cause me to wake up more fully. And heaven forbid, if the weighted blanket slid halfway off the bed or onto the floor.

By the end of the week, I made sure I turned it back on the bed when I got up so I could slide in. I had a couple nights that I didn’t get up at all. In the first couple weeks of usage, I took melatonin before bed also. I have been using the blanket about 6 months and many nights I don’t even make my bathroom trip. I also cut out the melatonin and haven’t used it for over 4 months. Not needing the melatonin is supported in the science– as weighted blankets help to increase the production of melatonin and serotonin. I still do some of the other bedtime rituals, like breathing/meditation and winding down, but those are good for many reasons. For the most part- it is just me and my weighted blanket, sleeping pretty good.

So, I have to say that weighted blankets work. I am going to put it to another test though. I plan to add some science by tracking my sleep on my fitbit with and without the weighted blanket in an upcoming video.

Hit the subscribe button and follow me, so you don’t miss the results of my fitbit sleep test!

I wanted to answer a couple questions I’ve gotten from folks

Is it hot? No, it is actually cool. Yet not cold. I used a lighter blanket on top during the colder nights. It is filled with even distributed glass microbeads.

Is it too heavy? How can you breathe? It might be heavy for some people, but the blankets come in different weights. If you have breathing issues, weighted blankets may be contraindicated. If not, and you feel constricted- try a lighter weight. It did take me about a week to 10 days to get used to the “heavy” feeling.

If you decide to try it, again here is the one I have.

Don’t forget to comment below what you bring to your A(ging) game.

What Feeds Your Motivation

Do you need a personal coach?

There’s been so many things that held us down.
But now it looks like things are finally comin’ around.
I know we’ve got, a long long way to go,
and where we’ll end up, I don’t know.
But we won’t let nothin’ hold us back,
we’re putting our selves together,
we’re polishing up our act!

Ain’t No Stopping Us Now by McFadden & Whitehead

This song as been my motivation to get up everyday this week at 4:30 am and get to the gym. If I listen to the remix twice, I’m 20 minutes into my morning routine. I love the line “we’re polishing up our act”. That is exactly what I’m doing. I’m getting myself together. I’m polishing up my act.

It has been an entire year since I went to the gym. I tried to do some things at home during the year of the quarantine, but it’s not the same for me. I need the routines and structure of actually, physically , getting out and going to the gym to exercise. Needless to say, getting motivated to start again and to keep going was challenging. Not to mention getting up at 4:30 to drink celery juice and be on the treadmill by 5:00 am. Timing is everything, if you get my meaning.

As I get older, it takes me longer to get into the groove of movement. I try to be very conscious of how my body is feeling. When I started doing the celery juice 4 weeks ago, I also started doing stretches and yoga, in preparation for returning to the gym. Age and inactivity can lead to injury if you don’t listen to your body and push too hard, too soon. I believe it’s more beneficial to move slowly for 3 weeks than to try to go hard and be out of commission for a while. “We’ve gotta keep moving“

Music always feeds my motivation.

Good, meaningful lyrics. Great beat. On point vocals and harmony. I am moved by music.

I use music to get me up when I’m feeling down. I use it to calm me down when I’m anxious. I use it to soothe my soul and as background for my praise. Music is a panacea.

I know that many folks use a personal coach or accountability partner, but I have always been pretty self motivated and am my own best (and worst) critic.

I am my own best motivator. I feed MYSELF.

If I don’t do it for myself, it won’t get done. Exercising and eating healthy is as much an emotional and spiritual journey for me as it it a physical one. I have been trying to spend some alone time reflecting, being mindful and utilizing affirmations to get my head right. I have got to be ready to get up and get moving. Nobody can make me. Although I do appreciate my son going to the gym with me as he has my safety in mind, and he also provides a gentle push when it’s needed.

I got news that a friend of mine died the other day. He was really very much like a brother. In fact, he was an ex-brother in law. The father of my oldest niece. He was also probably the closest to a personal coach I ever had. His techniques were a bit harsh. HA. He used to hit balls directly at my sister Claudia and I on the racquetball court and tell us to move our fat AZZES. He would also strategically place them in the corner so that we ran into the wall -alot. Now, at the time we were P_H_A_T ** PHAT, but not FAT! In spite of his tactics, we were very good and held our own. He made us work hard.

RIP Royd Alec Lake. Man, I loved your crazy west Indian self. Royd ran track for Iowa and is probably the reason I don’t run/jog as part of my work out. lol

I am also fed by the knowledge that if I fail I can always start over.

I love the line in the song where they sing ; but we gonna keep trying, we’re gonna keep trying – over and over. I hesitate to think where I would be if it weren’t for the power of the DO OVER. I have stopped a thousand times more things then I have started.

So music, myself, and knowing I can always start over. That’s what feeds my motivation. Take a listen if you want to get a bit of my morning inspiration to get up and moving.

Leave a comment as to what feeds your motivation.

Here’s a few songs on my moving in the morning playlist. Feel free to share yours with me.

McFadden & Whitehead – Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now (Official Audio) – YouTube

Chicago Mass Choir- “Get Your Blessing (Look Up)” – YouTube

The Gap Band – Outstanding – YouTube

Saturday Love (12″ Extended Version) – YouTube

Love Come Down – YouTube

And the Beat Goes On – YouTube

Celebrating Memorial Day

Growing Older doesn’t mean you have to Lose Your Traditions

What do you do in celebration of Memorial Day? Are those activities based on traditions that you started or that your family has been doing for years or even generations? Our Memorial Day traditions have changed over the years. At different times we have done all of the things that our parents did with us, but as an older couple we have settled in to what Rich’s family always did- BBQ, family and fun. Traditions are so important in families. They help to create a sense of structure, grounding and pride. Growing older doesn’t mean you have to lose them. You can create new ones, re-live them through your children or share your fond memories.

I’m not sure that I knew until adulthood, that Memorial Day was founded to celebrate and honor the service of Civil War Soldiers killed in the war. I do have a vague memory of either my grandmother Grace and my father referring to it as Decoration Day. When I learned that it started after the Civil War , I still thought it referenced the concept that you went to the cemetery to decorate family grave sites. I actually read that one of the earliest Memorial Day celebrations was by formerly enslaved people in Charleston, South Carolina in the mid 1860s. After a couple more wars- it became a celebration to honor US service people in all wars. It then became common to honor those who had died in our families by visiting cemeteries and leaving tokens of remembrance, including flowers. Today, they often won’t let you bring or plant live flowers or they manage what you can leave at the site and when you can leave it.

This past weekend we had hoped to meet our dad’s 92 year old first cousin Tom, at the cemetery in their hometown to pay our respects to the family members buried there. Traveling to Marshalltown also always provides an opportunity to drive through the community and see what’s changed. Our family helped to start three churches when they arrived in Marshalltown from the Alabama in 1917. Two of them are shown below.

We always drove past them to see what condition they were in and whether they were still having services. As the number of African Americans in Marshalltown had ebbed and flowed over time, the churches membership had also declined.

Morrow United Methodist Church

African American Church History in Marshalltown, Iowa.

Cumberland Presbyterian Church

Just recently, Cumberland Presbyterian was torn down. (2021) Whenever we came to town, we immediately became the church choir as my mom played piano and there were 5 of us children.

As a child, we always took some time over the Memorial Day weekend to visit the cemetary and place flowers. It was a chance to do some grooming of the site, including pulling back any weeds or overgrowth that was encroaching onto the stones.

At some point we starting using the Memorial Day weekend as the beginning of the camping season. When our children were younger, we continued a tradition of having Memorial Day weekend being the first camping trip of the season.

When they became teenagers our tradition changed to Memorial Day being the first BBQ of the season and has landed there. It has been great to watch our sons maintain many of our family traditions and to also start some of their own.

It’s refreshing to see those traditions continue or want to be continued. Traditions provide not only great memories established with your family, but learning experiences. Although I have only been one or two times in the last 20 years, I could with complete confidence go directly to the area that my family is buried in.

My son and his family, going fishing- may turn into camping.

What’s your Memorial Day tradition? Please let me know in the comments!

Happy Memorial Day!